Tearful Joy

Recently, my 9 year old son, Keegan attended his first full week of camp at Camp War Eagle.  When we were reunited, he was the sweetest big brother imaginable as he held his sister's hand and escorted her into his cabin, he proudly introduced her to all his new buds.  His nickname was "chocolate" by the way, because of his hair of course!  I enjoyed seeing him interact with all the other nicknamed kids, like "dragon" for instance.

Do you ever watch people?  Especially, those who you have any kind of authority over or responsibility toward?  I hope so!  It inspires appropriate and powerful prayer.  It is encouraging and simultaneously revealing.  As I watched Keegan, I felt joy.  I had the opportunity to see him shine socially, an area of natural genius for him.  He showed his sister the kind of love he rarely demonstrates.  Sometimes I forget the blessing God has entrusted to me.  I didn't expect what I was about to experience.

Keegan joined his cabin mates in an obviously familiar routine as songs were sung and chants were shouted at the camp closing program.  It was exciting.  The community, bonding, healthy competition and training in learning how to lose and how to win.  It was time for awards.  The first was a highly respected award something about an arrow. Only one camper per cabin could win.  Kids were cooly anticipating the announcement of their name.  It is a coveted award!  It affirms their mastery of the wholeness of character taught at War Eagle.  Keegan's name was not announced, of course politely disappointed and still proud we wondered when the program would end.  However, there was another award.  Again, an award that only one camper per cabin could win.

This one was called the "FIT" award... First Is Third.  The idea is that Jesus demonstrated a love and life that put others and God first.  This means that if we can exhibit this attitude in our lives we will be third.  First is actually third.  My eyes widened as I realized this award was truly the best award I could hope my son would receive.  As names were called by cabin number, again politely un-assuming, we waited.  Then finally, his cabin number was called and as the last syllable of our last name echoed through the covered meeting space, I realized it was Keegan!  I can't really put into words the joy that coursed through my body.  Compounded by hearing Aaron exclaim, "That's the best award he could have been given!".  Oh, the joy.  

You see, as his parents, we hear about his great attitude.  We often see another at home.  To think that our son had displayed the most Christ like attitude in his cabin... We felt as though we'd been the ones given the award.  I could hardly contain my tears, as they embarrassingly flowed down my cheeks.  My stomach was tight as I desperately attempted to contain my tears.  I don't know if I've ever been as blessed by joy because of Keegan as in those moments that Saturday afternoon.  He showed a selfless love to his sister, proved to be a young man who was recognizably christ like all week at camp and he's a bonafied great kid. 

When I was a terrified young mom, with this little life in my arms, so afraid of messing him up, I was reassured.  You see, Keegan is not mine.  I absolutely have a responsibility toward him, but he belongs to God.  Keegan's moments of glory, while they honor Aaron and I, truly belong to God... his creator and sustainer.  He was created with a purpose that elevates God and His Kingdom, and it's our deep joy to get to watch that truth realized in his life.  These moments when the beauty of who Keegan is gets displayed brings more than human affirmation.  The true affirmation comes in the peace and joy of knowing my son is God's, no matter what this life brings and I can rest in that.  Regardless of his failings and success', he belongs to our Father and the more Keegan embraces that life the more evident the reflection of God's glory will be in him.

As followers of Christ, we must realize that the people around us are His and in fact, so are we.  There will be moments of disappointment, when we can succumb to emotions, feelings and attitudes that demonstrate our attempt to impress by our own greatness.  Then there are these moments of pride and accomplishment, where we have a tendency to claim God's glory for ourselves and feel a boosted identity in the grabbing of human acclaim.  We must not fall into the trap of stealing God's glory; craving it, desiring it, living for it.  Oh, that we might find our complete wholeness and utter fulfillment in the approval of God alone.  He is enough.  He is the longing of every human heart and we become so attractive to humanity as we become miraculous in His love.  Trust fully in Him.  Be His.  Rest in His approval.  He is enough.